The Philanderer

Put another jumper on

2010-02-04T18:01:00.003Z

The Eastern European meter reader turned up at the door last week and I am waiting with much anxiety for the bills to arrive. I pay both gas and electricity by monthly standing order, so every now and then I get a wacking one off payment request to balance the books. I suspect it will arrive any time.

We have been in the house for about 8 years now and have three sources of energy drainage, The swimming pool, the domestic hot water and the heating. In that time my monthly outlay has almost doubled, so I have been motivated to investigate some of the alternative heat sources which are becoming the subject of much media discussion.

There are really only a few that I can consider, thermal/solar panels on the roof, a wind turbine on the house, or free standing in the garden, and a ground source heat pump.

The swimming pool would struggle to be heated by solar panels in the conventional way as the heat exchanger would need to be about twenty feet long. It would also struggle to work effectively during the Winter months. I could use it as a giant water storage source but the temperature would likely exceed the recommended level for the liner. Ground source heating is therefore the preferred option here.

The central heating is a real tricky one. The ground source heater would be able to do the necessary if we had under floor heating, but traditional radiators need much higher levels of heating to be able to heat effectively.

The domestic hot water could be supplemented by the solar panel solution, and that in turn could offset some of the central heating requirements by keeping the cylinder at a higher ambient temperature. we shall have to see.

All these systems will need pumps, so the attraction of wind power to reduce the electricity consumption has certain appeal. We don't live in Hill House without some blowy days. The trouble here is that the Energy Saving Trust web site is inconclusive when I enter my details, and when I discussed the matter with them they indicated a wind survey lasting a minimum of a year would be the best thing to do before outlaying the expense associated with a turbine.

So I await details of companies who can provide such surveys, but I have been more successful with the other alternative sources as I have convinced a local ( well Welsh) company to come over next week and chat through what I could and could not do. The roof should take panels if the sun can get to them enough, but the garden is too small for a wired ground source system, so it would need to be bore holes. I await his comments with interest.

On the day British gas reduced their prices by 7%, but pundits were predicting a 25% cost hike over the next ten years, it is certainly time for Maison Weathers to join the 21st century

Oink like a pig!

2010-01-31T13:51:00.005Z

It was my sister-in-laws special birthday last weekend so we all decamped to Swindon for a bit of a 'do' It was a good craic and gave me a chance to catch up with my young nephew Matthew. he has recently started at a new school a good way from where he lives, and he went there knowing nobody from his junior school. Its a scenario I can relate to as it happened to me.

He is a pretty reasonable footie player and the school is a rugger and hockey place so he has fallen back on his natural running ability and has just qualified to represent Wiltshire in the U14 National cross country championships. Now for a 12 year old that's pretty good. He indicated the national championships might be held in Truro, at at that point I was aghast.

I had to point out to him that the average Cornish person had an extra leg, much like a Manxman and could, therefore, run quicker, they were partial to high sixes,not high fives, and the extra eye they had also gave them a sight advantage, and a real problem for the optician if they needed glasses. He laughed and suggested I was joking, but I assured him that being a man of Plymouth I knew a thing or two about those imbreds from across the Tamar valley.

Now SWMBO over heard this, and confirmed that I had always maintained that if we heard duelling banjo's as we swung over the Saltash road bridge, then we were in real trouble. She did feel though that my comments, albeit in jest could be construed as racist.

Image my delight yesterday then, when it was ruled in court that Cornish people were not an ethnic group and could not, therefore, be racially abused. They are not really a part of England anyway, being a Duchy rather than a county, and now it is legit to make fun of them as they press their noses against Dingles window, wishing they could afford to buy something.......ogi ogi ogi.......

Its life Jim but not as we know it....

2010-01-14T10:27:00.005Z

The director of the British Museum, Neil MacGregor starts a Radio 4 series next week discussing the 100 items which in his opinion have helped shape civilisation. Now some of the list are known already. The Sutton Hoo helmet, the chronometer from HMS Beagle and the drawing by Durer of the first rhino to land in modern Europe where published in the Sunday Times preview article. The 100th and final item however, is yet to be decided and Neil wants your help. Will it be an i-phone, a recycling bin or something else which is a more recent influence? You can offer your nomination by e-mail to communications@britishmuseum.org.

I wonder what would have been to the fore front as far as my parents were concerned? Firstly the atomic bomb and the part it played in bringing the second world war to a close should be on the list. I remember we had a car and I was pushed round in a Silver Cross pram but they were probably luxury items of the time. The internal combustion engine though ought to be in the list. We also had a TV when they were introduced , and as with many items in the list it is questionable whether civilisation has improved for having been presented with it.

Of more practical use was the refrigerator which replaced the larder as the means of keeping food cool, and the bucket of water in which the milk used to stand, and at work my father used a biro instead of his fountain pen, and a slide rule pre-dated the pocket calculator.

An early item I remember was the introduction of central heating and the difference a radiator in the house made. It replaced coal fires and made the London smogs a thing of the past. It is ironic that its use these days is seen as contributing to global warming, and that the re-introduction of coal fired power stations may need to be accelerated.

So what about my 50 years of evolution? well, from a sporting point of view the gum shield and screw-in studs in football boots saved my teeth and feet from being wrecked.

The personal computer and afore mentioned mobile phone were must haves, and the introduction of credit cards and ATM banking facilities led to a step change in money management. The Freddie Laker Skytrain was an introduction to cheap air travel and helped make the world the smaller planet it is now. Skiing was introduced to the masses and ancient civilisations in South America became tourist destinations.

Space travel has unlocked many new and innovative scientific advances and what would we do without plastic, be it bottles, packaging or construction materials. Where does the first high rise tower block fit into the list, and was the Tardis real or imaginary?

Our first grandchild has indicated that young parents would put disposable nappies at the top of the list but where would DVD's fit in the hierarchy of music media pioneered by 78 and 45rpm vinyl recordings, the cassette tape, and Betamax video systems!!!

The camera never used to lie, but now with digital technology and PhotShop one can never be sure.

Many things I have mentioned, and other items on the list will, I suspect, question whether they have benefited our civilisation long term. Munitions, CCTV cameras, the cane and its abolition, the Human Rights Act and the aeroplane which flew into the World Trade Centre all come to mind. I wonder what the 100th item will turn out to be?

Ooops, argh!

2010-01-07T10:20:00.003Z

A belated happy New Year to all my readers, I will be back in the stirrups shortly.

My literary prowess has been somewhat diminished following an altercation with the road in Claughton Village as I went very quickly from the walking position to prone on backside. My left wrist took the full force and, at worse, I have cracked a bone, at best it is severely sprained.

Ouch!

Fore! No surely more than that?

2009-12-09T12:15:00.005Z

After a few pints in the pub I am fullof ideas for blog entries. A good sleep, however, and they have all vanished from my mind the next day. As this morning I am in the unusual position of remembering them, I though I should go to print sharpish. So here goes.

Tiger Woods is used to scoring a few birdies in his day to day working life, but the 9 and counting who have come out of the woodwork claiming to have had private lessons with the main man over the years is brewing up quite a storm , and Tiger probably feels at the moment that he has shot an albatross.

The ladies he has been philanderering with (good word that...ed) have all been well pubicised and will no doubt do kiss and tell for months to come.

What I want to know, though, is what part Tigers long term, and very loyal , caddy Steve Williams has played in all the goings on?

Correct me if I am wrong, but I understand the role of the caddy is to point out the projected target and indicate how far his man is away from it, he should then advise which club to use, and line his player up to the hole. He then cleans the club after the shot and puts the club back in the bag himself. He also keeps the score.

I think there is more to this than meets the eye.

Simples

2009-12-09T11:41:00.006Z

The power of TV advertising is a very strange and wonderful thing. Some of the best adverts will stay with you for ages. Guinness and Carlsberg, for example, have a real heritage for advertising campaigns going back decades. Other Companies use a particular style, and, dare I say it, IBM is one such with their blue banner wide screen format.

Catch phrases such as 'not just any mince pies....' or '....three weetabix' are instant hits and make their agencies a tidy profit.So too the awful adverts which none the less leave you with an indelible image of the product in your mind. You've been Tango'd, E-Sure and pot noodle all have that cringe factor build it, but boy, we remember the adverts.

The adverts which hit the bar are, if course, the wonderfully produced efforts which fail to burn the brand into our minds. We end up extolling the virtues of the 45 seconds of great TV but have no idea what its advertising. I would give an example, but I can't remember any!!

Then there is the merchandise spin-off aspect, which is what this blog is all about really. The Esso tiger in the tank campaign in the seventies had half the nation driving round with tigers tails dangling from the rear view mirror, self raising flower men from Homepride were found in every kitchen in the land, and, the classic, of course, the Robertson's gollywogs were a class act.

Many special items are issued attached to boxes of tea, and t-shirts can be obtained for a nominal sum and a few box tops, but the latest and greatest merchandise promotion surrounds Alekandr Meerkat, the main man in the comparethemarkets.com advertising campaign.

Harrods have the sole contract for providing the dolls based on Alekandr, they have a limited edition of 5000 and were selling them at £19.95. As is the case with many such limited offers though, demand from around the world has been huge. So the owner of Harrods, in another attempt to get UK citizenship, has decided to withdraw them from sale and present them to a number of childrens charities including Great Ormond Street and the Shooting Stars Hospice. A noble gesture, and one I hope will not generate a black market on e-bay. In the meantime I will have to look for another collectible for my son, this Christmas.

All this talk of adverts reminds me of the way a cruise ship singer gauged the age of her audience. She threw out a few punch lines like bum bum bum bum.... and....you'll wonder where the yellow went.....and waited for the strength of response. Very clever, but simples.....

Strewth

2009-12-07T18:22:00.002Z

I have until Friday this week to decide whether to take the offer from my Company of early retirement. They have had an early retirement window open for two weeks now and the option to leave on 5th February has been offered to me.

The changes being proposed are well documented in the public domain, and as far as I am concerned I would have needed to work until I was 62 to reap the benefits of retirement which I am being offered now. A no brainer you would think?

And so did I until an update was issued last week. Now I have had some knocks on this blogger with regard to punctuation and proof reading, but if ever an e-mail needed another e-mail to explain the first one, then this update did. It clearly was not thought through or tested out on a peer group so now the whole Company are charging round saying, do you know what this means? Do you think this applies? and getting several different answers.

As far as I am concerned it gives me a lifeline, in as much as it looks like I can work through to 60 now to get the pension I had previously budgeted for, or, in the interim, leave when I want to on terms I have time to think through. Well, at least, that's what I think it says.

It is endemic at the moment though that employers are wielding the axe wherever there is opportunity to cut costs. Vauxhall Motors up here in Ellesmere Port are still to be absolutely black and white when laying out their employment/redundancy plans. The 8000 Corus employees who have just learnt they are to be laid off had expected a better and longer stay of execution when the firm was sold a few years ago.

Then at the other end of the scale, the City bankers, many of whom would not be in a job but for the government bailing them out, are now bleating about the threat to their bonus schemes. A draconian tax on banking bonuses would be a brave move , but there are many people in the non-high street banking sector who would suffer unjustly. On many fronts, watch this space.

Bill Badger strikes again

2009-11-30T16:44:00.006Z

Hasn't it been raining recently? My poor old mum in Plymouth has been battered, the Argyle game at the weekend being abandoned midway through the second half . The residents of Cockermouth in Cumbria, and Workington, up the way, have had their communities devastated by flooding. Bridges lie on the river beds they once traversed, and property and businesses have been wrecked beyond salvation. The people of Bradcaster in Cornwall will be looking up Country with every sympathy.

Imagine, then, my trepidation as I invited six rugby colleagues up to Southport of the fourth annual Dom Pedro golf tournament. November up North in the wettest November on record, not a good idea! The event is usually held mid-October in Portugal, and the name of the tournament is associated with the hotel we all stay in. I managed to win the individual and the team contest last year and had high hopes of retaining the trophies.

Things did not start off well though. Our hotel, The Prince of Wales, had booked us into double rooms as they had five coach loads of the 'grey pound' posse staying there for 'turkey and tinsel'. Z-beds were provided with the promise of room changes the next day.

We then arrived at Formby golf links as the heavens opened and dumped the aforementioned precipitation on us. On went the waterproofs, jumpers, thermal gloves and beanie hats and off we trudged.

My partner for the week, Adam, and I were playing Gareth and Bill Badger in our first round tussle. Now Bill Badger has been around the rugby club for years, he has played for most of the senior teams and has won kicking cups, golf trophies and man of the match awards consistently throughout his time there. He must be a great all rounder you may think, but no, not really.

In the same way that Scottish football teams might field A. Trialist, or B. Trialist in games to protect those players anonymity, so Bill Badger is a nom d'plume for people who go on tour and don't want to be recognised, or is a trophy winner filler in the years a pot is not played for. And so it came to be that as we were only seven on tour Bill became our eighth man.

On the first day he was represented by my father-in law, Marty, who I invited along as an early 70th birthday present. He showed his gratitude by sinking a thirty foot putt on the 17th to win 2 and 1, humf! The fact the rain cleared after three holes and we played in glorious Winter sunshine was small consolation to me.

On the second day at Formby Ladies, Bill was represented by a Liverpool acquaintance called Stu, who helped Gareth to a comfortable win, and took the day prize himself with 39 points. Saturday was again set fair and for part of the round we were playing in polo shirts it was so mild.

A night out in Liverpool in Alma d'Cuba until 3am did not sit well with the final match of the tour, played on the greens of the Hesketh club. Gareth did hang on to win again, so emulated my feat of last year winning the team and individual titles, on another rain free day.

It was great the lads travelled up to play and that they has a good time, we did agree however, that it would be back to The Algarve next year. Whether Bill is with us may well be influenced by the governments stance on bovine TB in the countryside.

Its day 1 in the big brother house

2009-11-23T11:24:00.005Z

Actually its day 6, but as I sneaked back to London last week after four days up North, this is really the first full week.

The big challenge with integrating two houses is the amount of double bubble you have....three extra beds, two extra sofas, clothes, pots, pans, cutlery, glasses, pictures, books and other ephemera, my collection of menus from restaurants around the world being one such.....

So we have a bedroom full of stuff, which needs to be carefully sorted into piles. E-bay, tip and office are the three easiest clasifications to decide upon. Storage or usage are the trickiest. SWMBO has had sole storage rights for a number of years so her space needs to be protected as well.

So far the futon has gone to Emma and Lees spare room, the dressing table has replaced the falling apart MFI one, and most of the clothes have found a way into a wardrobe or three. Emma's bedroom has become the library, but there are still masses of books looking for homes, and just how many dictonaries does one need for practical purposes?

E-bay will take a hammering this week, and Chiswick Auction House has already disposed of some of the lesser art work we will fail to put on the wall....storage items are next.

Guess what though, just as we finish the sorting process we will find a flat in London and start the ' why did we throw that out debate' all over again....c'est la vie.

I told you so.....

2009-11-22T11:58:00.003Z

I have been bleating on about the quality of the product on offer at Twickenham Stadium, as the England rugby team stumble from one shambles to the next. My prediction that the stadium will be half empty before the next World Cup has fallen on deaf ears as far as my chums at the RFU are concerned.

Today, however, in the Observer, Paul Hayward has taken up the theme, and I do wonder if he drinks in the Prince Blucher after the game, and has ear wigged my persistent bemoaning!

Wales and Ireland seem to be able to play exciting rugby even in adversity, England just cannot step up to the plate. I have no idea what the answer is although I do fear the lack of University educated players is on the decline as a result of professional rugby teams and their associated academy's trying to dumb down rugby intellect by brain washing the flair out of players.

The S Club 5 will continue to attend on a casual basis as the day, and indeed, the weekend continues to be a good craic, but the three Autumn Internationals are two too many for us already......I am reminded of the phone call once to Brentford FC....'Hello can you tell me what time kick-off is?......whenever you can get here Sir!'

I do good deal my friend

2009-11-20T12:24:00.006Z

I have just returned from a few days in Marrakesh with some of the BMW golf group, and I must say this retirement business is beginning to have an appeal. We played three courses while out there and the contrasts were fascinating. I was sixth after day one but faded to end in the pack although a steady par round the back nine at Amalkis sent me hope with a smile.

To help the economy, caddies are compulsory, and I know know what an important tool in the professional armoury such a person can be. I had a nightmare on the second day, and, although I have nightmares when playing without a caddie, on this occasion I was in another place.

He gave me wrong clubs, walked me to tees, via the scenic route and was generally a bad vibe. All round I fought my inner self but sadly it won 3 and 2!!!

The bigger disappointment was that this was the day we played Marrakesh Royal golf club, a course laid out in 1920 by the top man of the time, and it has been graces by King Hussain, Winston Churchill and Dwight D Eisenhower

The characters on the tour were an equally eclectic bunch. There was a retired builder who had got his six numbers up, a publisher who spent a lot of time in the old Eastern Block. One of his big titles is 'Wheres Wally?' and the banter on tour suggested he was the role model for the character! Big Rod is in munitions, fabricating the personnel carriers we are sending our boys in Afghanistan and there were financiers, legal eagles, electricians and teachers. It was all very interesting.

So what of the city itself? well Sex in the City 2 was being filmed on location while we were there which will no doubt give a sight of the place when it is released. We really only saw the grand bizarre.It was big, but once you see one carpet stall you see them all, especially when none of them were the flying variety!

Its size inevitable led to my group getting lost in a 'maze of twisting little passages which all looked the same'.Our efforts to keep turning right did not work so we eventually had to pay a local to escort us back to the main square!

We then got taken by a hawker to an authentic Moroccan restaurant, so authentic in fact that it did not sell alcohol. We made our excuses and left. We found another which did, and threw in a belly dancer for free...

Marrakesh is about a three day resort which I probably would not return to in a hurry. Paraphrasing Tuffers view of India 'done the poverty, done the camels'

Ode to joy

2009-11-03T13:49:00.003Z

So farewell then soft Limacon
a great theme we stumbled on.......

t'were full of slugs the slimy things
but once rid of them t'were musings

in tasteful remembrance
with a french cuisine semblance

Le Limacon est arrivee - phew!
lets have a buffet and barbecue

and the tradition lasted
while we all got plastered

and toasted the slugs on and on
(actually les limacons in translashion!)

but he's sold the house
and is moving to scouse

but in our mind's eye we'll still see
le limacon .... so r.i.p.

P Figgins aged 8 and a half.....arf.......

Going, going, gone......

2009-10-29T15:36:00.003Z

I started this blog in May 2007 to chart the path I would follow as i put my house on the market. little did I know it would be two and a half years later that I would be reporting the conclusion of the journey.

Yes, I have finally exchanged on the sale and vacate the property on 6th November. I will be leaving London to live away for the first time in nearly 40 years, and will need to locate the nearest source of London Pride or Youngs Ordinary to avoid my liver going into shutdown.

Thanks goodness for the internet which will allow me to follow the local issues and sporting prowess of the team which i have followed for much of that time.

A lot of things have happened in the time the house has been on the market. Maxine and I have become grandparents, our oldest son, Tim has married, and our oldest daughter is engaged. A few friends have passed away, and we have mourned their loss.

We have travelled a fair bit it has to be said. Peru, Brazil, Egypt, Portugal, Chicago, Edinburgh, Rome. Paris and Cyprus have been on our schedule, as well as a cruise around the islands of the Mediterranean. At that should stand us in good stead now that my Company has cast me adrift by making draconian changes to its final salary pension scheme.

I met the CEO yesterday and asked him outright why I should stay in his Company. His reply was hopeless, and as a colleague of mine once said, 'when the lunatics start running the asylum, its time to leave' . I think they are, and I am. ETD is scheduled for 5th February at the moment which will make the England v Wales game at Twickenham the next day a bit of a blinder.

So the blog has fulfilled one role, and now it takes on a new one as it tracks my progress through early retirement, life in Scouserland and potentially a few entrepreneurial projects. Watch this space one may come to a road near you........

Flying the flag

2009-10-15T16:21:00.003+01:00

'The best things in life are free' or so the saying goes. So I was delighted to hear that the London Evening Standard was to be given away from the beginning of this week.

I have always had a soft spot for the only surviving London evening paper. It used to be the source of cheap and comfortable flats when me and my chums were looking for student digs during the mid 70's. Each year we would take it in turns to be in Fleet Street at 9:30am when the first editions hit the street.it was then a mad dash to the nearest phone box to start ringing round and arranging viewings. We did pretty well, getting places in Northcote Road, Clapham, in Tooting not far from the Common and , of course, Devonshire Road in Balham, gateway to the South. Great days.

The London Paper, The Metro and the London Lite have all been given away at tube stations for many years, but they just never had the substance of the Evening Standard, nor its rival, The Evening News. The News perished in 1980 and but for a brief resurrection in 1987, the Standard has been the only local London 'pay to play' paper.

I have to confess I rarely purchased it, but now I am chasing the man at the tube up the street to get my free copy to read on the way home........

The Standard apart, London, and other cities are full of good free stuff, much of it advertised in afore mentioned rag. Most of the best museums are free, the stroll along the Thames thought the West End and the City is a delight, as are the buskers in the Covent Garden Piazza. The Festival Hall has Jazz every Friday night in its expansive foyer, as well as tea dances and other recitals, and the street markets all over London provide a wonderful photographic and cultural experience.

I have lived here 40 years and it will be hard to leave it all behind when I move away in a few weeks, but, hey, its only two hours away on the train, and with plenty of time to kill from next year I suspect the Capital has not seen the last of me, not by a long chalk....now I wonder where that expression came from?

Wilson, Kepple and Betty

2009-10-08T16:25:00.003+01:00

Just back from Egypt and certainly notice the temperature difference. It was 35 degrees in the shade over there, so i stayed in the sun....groan. Did a bit of snorkeling which was pretty sub when compared to the fish and colours on display in Eilat just up the coast in Israel, and one of the little buggers bit me quite hard, drawing blood and leaving me with a mini jaws scar. I had fish and chips for dinner last night hoping I might be getting revenge on their Uncle or other close family member!

The place was full of Russians, as was Cyprus when we went last year, and I hear that some of the Greek islands are going the same way. I have a few phrases of Polish I can trot out as necessary, but had i known i would have learnt the Ruski for 'excuse me there is a queue' or ' no please feel free to open the door yourself'. Still the legs were quite impressive although what they see in their ex-U boat captain partners is beyond me.

We got back in time for Idwals funeral and it was a mighty turnout as had been expected. there was much singing and merriment and I am sure he would have looked down satisfied in the way his life was celebrated. During the eulogy it became evident how little people knew of his life outside the rugby club, he was a Labour candidate in the local elections, a strong charity worker and loving grandad to his extended family.....he also campaigned hard in recent years for an independent state for Palestine, so I wonder how he would of reacted to me in the suk's of Sharm al Sheik pointing out that they had left Israel off their maps of the middle East...seems they assume the Palestinians have a state of their own already!

Big Mac and large fries please......

2009-09-20T11:38:00.003+01:00

We stayed in a Hyatt hotel while in Chicago. It was on Ronald Avenue in, wait for it, the campus of Hamburger University. This whole campus had been developed by the McDonalds Corporation to embrace their head office, training centre and local community leisure facilities.

Everything was geared towards the golden arches. The paintings and prints on the walls all had subtle, or not so subtle, images of Big Macs, Ronald himself, the arches or the produce. It was an amazing tribute to the mass market cardboard burger which has contributed so much to the American, and other countries, huge obesity problems.

So I wonder what sort of degree you get from a hamburger university?

Bachelor of Southern Style Crispy Chicken Sandwich, Master of Tarts or Doctor of The Pattie?

I'm lovin' it......

Idwal Morgan

2009-09-17T18:54:00.006+01:00

I lost a very good friend while I was away in Chicago. Idwal Morgan and Peter Thomas, two life members of Twickenham Rugby Club, were walking together in Spain, when they were caught in a rock fall. Idwal sadly did not survive, and the effort Peter made to get assistance was admirable but unfortunately the rescue team were not able to revive Idwal. He will be sadly missed.

I first met him when I joined TRFC in 1981.he was an ex-1st XV player who was now plying his trade in the 2nd and 3rd XV, but his skill levels and commitment were evident for all to see. He only had one eye so you never knew which way he was looking or who he was looking at. This helped when he was selling dummies, or facing up to an agressive opponent when he invariably came out on top!

I have a lasting legacy from Idwal as he broke my cheekbone a few days before Christmas in the mid '80s. Christmas dinner through a straw was an interesting experience!

I also toured New Zealand with him playing in the Golden Oldies festival in Aukland. We played Maori teams, New Zealand internationals and 85 year old Japanese players, and ate and drank like kings. We returned via Hawaii where we played golf, joshed with the ladies of the night (business was quiet) and used Idwal's British Gas id card to gain entry to the most exclusive clubs and bars. He was proud of his involvement with British Gas and the joy on his face as he presented it and exclaimed in his soft Welsh brogue were a life memory.

He will leave a huge vacuum at the rugby club, and his wake will reflect the love and affection in which he was held. I often wish one could have ones wake while still alive as its often the best party you would ever go to. Idwal's will be, the members will see to that. Sleep well old son.....

Call that a half Simon?

2009-09-15T00:08:00.007+01:00

Now a week is a long time in politics, and I think I have said that on here before, but just imagine that one weekend you are attending the Patterdale Show in the Lake District, and then paddling a raft in a race, dressed as a viking.

The next week you are teeing it up with the greatest golfer of modern times, Tiger Woods, in the BMW Championship at Cog Hill near Chicago.

Next week its Brentford v Bristol Rovers, but hey ho!!!

So first the show. Well my mucker 'Off the record' Dick has reported the events at the show and on the river here in his blog of 31st August, and a fine summary it is too. There were sheep and dogs, and shepherds and shepherdesses, if one is allowed to call them such these days. To my mind thought the best Sheep were the Black ones I consumed throughout the evening!!

I was excused duties on the raft to be honest as it was unclear whether our new design would take the weight of five of us. As Dick points out in the end it would only carry three such. Still we took part and by all accounts have kept the race alive following our pirate escapades last year.

So myself and SWMBO arrived home on the Monday to be presented with (almost) the trip of a lifetime. I got a call from the BMW golf office in London telling me there was a space at the pro-am prior to the third leg of the FedEx Cup and could I get there?

Well a quick call on Tuesday to the boss, then Virgin Atlantic and finally to Octagon in Chicago and we are both on our way. We arrived to be greeted with a chauffeur and a logo'd BMW and so it went on for the week....shopping madam? we'll drop you off, just call when you need a pickup.....off to the course sir, let us take you....and for three days BMW did us proud.

The highlight arrived on the Wednesday when I got to play the pro-am. The previous night my German colleagues and I attended the partner party where we got to choose who to play with. They fancied a European, but by the time our number came out of the hat they had all gone.

I suggested we went for Lucas Glover. That would sandwich us between Tiger and his team and Sergio Garcia. It would also give us a first tee start and Lucas is after all the US Open Champion. They went with it and that's how we got to be in reception inthe hotel at 5am with the Tiger man himself. He signed a few autographs and drove himself to the course (in a Buick!!).

We followed his group all the way round, and beat them by 4 shots, coming a creditable 4th out of 52 teams, but sadly just outside the prizes. All in all though, a great day, which I shared with Lucas Glover, my caddie Joe, a Chuck Evans Scholar, and a few hundred other people who were gracious enough on the 18th green to applaud my approach putt.

As I mentioned in my blog only a few days ago, golf is one of those games where you can tread the boards on which perform your hero's. On this occasion I was able to do it at the same time

general update

2009-08-26T10:20:00.002+01:00

At last, I have accepted an offer on the house in Chiswick, and with a following wind the transaction should be completed by mid-October. The stock of flats seems to be in short supply so may keep my powder dry for the time being and see if there is a glut of buy to lets which come on the market over the Winter. In the meantime it will be The Lensbury Club for accommodation.

Work continues to be a nightmare with the imminent closure of the final salary pension plan. 20% of employees are affected and the water cooler discussions centre on nothing else at the mo. There are likely to be several hundred employees who will leave in march next year, so i am lining my ducks up as I am likely to be one such.

I am relatively OK in terms of pension but do feel sorry for the fortysomethings who will be seriously affected by this move.

As a combination of the above, this blog will be going silent, and may go off the air for a while as i move from the London server to the scouse one, which may mean there will be a change of blog address in the future. I will update when normal service has been resumed.

Third isle down on the right sir.....

2009-08-13T15:51:00.003+01:00

I have got myself a few months work in London at the moment, which is a welcome change from being on the bench since the Edinburgh gig finished. It may, however, be my last engagement with my current employer, as they propose to pull the plug on my, and others, pension scheme in April next year. If the porposals go through unchanged, I would have to work until i am well into my 62nd year to reep the benefits which I can walk away with now. That kind of seems a no brainer to me and alot of other people in a similar position.

The house situation is possibly improving with a couple of second viewings this week, but if it is still unsold by September then I think I will rent it out and use the income to supliment any pension I choose to draw down.

The golf club membership probably won't move much before the end of the year, but I have got holidays planned through September, October and November, as well as Camp Pete 2009 which is scheduled for the upcoming Bank Holiday. We are Vikings this year and will be looking to retain our 'most imaginative raft' title, won by the pirates last year.

Now where did I put that orange B & Q overall?

Thats a nice pear

2009-08-10T15:23:00.003+01:00

I've got to get this off my chest (grin), but I am getting a bit fed up with adverts for pear cider. I know I am on a campaign to protect old gits English when I reach for my 1956 National Benzole sponsored edition of the Collins English dictionary to look something up. Well I did, and I have.

It quite clearly states that cider is a drink made from fermented apples, not pears, not loganberries and certainly not strawberries, but what do I know about modern day linguistic applications of good old Anglo Saxon.

A drink made with pears is called a perry as every self indulgent Babycham drinker should know, and if its good enough for Vyvyan in the The Young Ones, then its good enough for me.......

Green army

2009-08-04T08:15:00.001+01:00

Check this out.....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tuVGST_1gE

I said left, not right......

2009-07-31T12:17:00.001+01:00

I am pleased with my new car, and I hate to say it, but one of the best bits in the sat nav. I have always resisted buying a TomTom or similar, as i think part of being a bloke is the right to get lost. its all part of the adventure.

"yes I know where we are", "No you don't, why don't you stop and ask?" "Its fine we will be there is a few minutes", "The kids are getting upset".....and so it goes on. You always manage to get there in the end though, and feel really pleased with yourself.

The sat nav has taken all that challenge out of driving and I must say I quite enjoy it.It calculates the ETA, it lets me know if there are traffic problems and can plan diversions. That was particularly useful in Lancaster last week, and it shows golf courses, petrol stations and hospitals if you want it to. Although now we don't argue about directions, i don't need the last category as much as I used to.

I still take the occasional wrong turn just to upset the lady doing the voice over, but she has not resigned from map reading just yet.......time will tell.

Ring, ring......

2009-07-31T12:11:00.004+01:00

My 200th post, well that's good going........and what a great moment to celebrate it with the news that number one daughter Rebecca, got engaged yesterday in Rome.

John, her childhood sweetheart, proposed in traditional style in a restaurant in Rome. No news yet whether the whole place clapped and cheered but lets hope so.

She is there to meet her mad mates from Oklahoma so I am sure they will all be drinking the local fire water well into the night.....I wonder if they will make it to Jonathans, near Plaza Navarrro it would be a fitting place to go.

How many can a man have?

2009-07-30T15:58:00.002+01:00

Well, a week ago I had no BMWs, and now theoretically I have two!!

Regular readers will recall that in October last year my virtually new BMW was stolen from outside my house in Chiswick, West London. I had the keys so indications were that it had been towed away. The deal was that I had to wait six months for it to be an insurance right off and I could then order a new one. That I duly did and it is sitting outside with 800 miles on the clock having arrived last week.

So you could knock me down with a feather this morning when the Metropolitan Police called me to say the original car had been identified. They had found it in a hotel car park in Dublin Airport.

Well that's not strictly true. The hotel contacted their local BMW dealer to say it had sat there for three months and could they get it shifted. On checking the dealership found it was stolen and contacted the Guarda who contacted the Met. Its still in the car park and the owner of the hotel wants to know who is going to pay for the three months parking charges!!

As an aside, the car was taken from a street about 50 yards from the Chiswick Moran hotel. The group have recently acquired the Bewley chain of hotels in Ireland, and yes you've guessed it, the stolen car was in the Bewley, Dublin Airport, hotel. Seems like somebody wanted a lift home!!!